The Will Maker (Continued):Part II

What had just happened there? Why had his fingers started to tremble? Were these his physical instincts suddenly starting to come back to life after all? Had his body suddenly decided to be perceptive of his mind’s signals? He did not like it. He took a moment to screen his whereabouts. Not that it mattered, but he found it hard to break with old habits. Dark back alley, overflowing containers, graffiti on the walls. Almost too stereotypical for his taste. He looked up at the night sky – it was dark, and if there hadn’t been the orange-red cloudy fog reflecting the city lights it would have been pitch black. Everything is black behind the light. He had to smirk about his simple, almost banal, logic: it would have been dark if there had not been light. He was glad he was regaining his confidence and could laugh about his own idiocy. …

Source: Part II (chapter)

Source: The Will Maker (story)


The Will Maker: Part I

He slowly stepped into the shower. The water changed from freezing cold to boiling hot back to freezing cold for the first few minutes. He endured. He had been oscillating between the extremes his entire life, so why try to avoid it in the shower? Why wait for the moderate middle? Moderation. Everything in moderation. Food, drink, sleep, fun, sex, work. Moderation is the key to happiness, isn’t it? Don’t get too excited, you might get disappointed; don’t get too sad, you might not be able to get out of it; don’t eat too much, you might feel sick after; don’t drink too much, you might make a fool of yourself; don’t spend too much money, it’s wasteful. You have to do it just right, moderately, have it under control. Fiery passion will burn you, warm affection will keep you comfortable. No, you have to do it just right. Remain calm, remain quiet, remain moderate. Don’t be too adamant, compromise. Don’t be too assertive, be considerate. Don’t be too ambitious, be motivated. Don’t be too excited, be enthusiastic. Just right. Just moderate. Be moderately moderate. Love thy neighbour. Honour thy father and mother. Do not steal. Do not envy. Do not sleep around. And most of all: do not fucking kill.

Source: Part I (entire chapter)